I can’t really say how it happened or even what exactly happened. For the first time, I think, it was as if the scales fell.
I wanted to step back, to look at her, to look in her eyes. I saw her, as if seeing her for the first time, yet it was vastly different from a virginal view. My sight was enhanced – I saw her beauty, how she’d grown more beautiful since the first time I’d seen her body, notwithstanding the intervening years; I saw how she responded to me, knowing that I was responsible for the sensations she was experiencing and how she expressed them; and I saw her, all of her, all of the years, all of the growth, all of the laughs and tears, all of it, all at once.
I did not feel any self-consciousness – no desire to cover, to protect, to shield. There was no shame, no embarrassment. There was no agenda, no plan, no thought, no concern. There was nothing but me. Although I had previously experienced wonderful connection, this time I was naked, totally naked, for the first time.
Being there, naked, without filter, I was able to identify the change in the moment, but I was surprised when simultaneously she shielded her eyes from me and said, “I can’t look at you. It’s too intimate.” She could tell. What I thought was just an internal release was externally observable. It seems that scales are not one-way mirrors; in addition to preventing us from learning the truth about the external world, they also prevent the external world from learning the truth about us.
The scales fell. Two souls, unclothed inside and out, merging. Pure, beautiful and rare. Cherished.